The subject of divorce and remarriage is the most everybody familiar with in the society today. This subject is not only the matter of the society but sadly it becomes the great issue in the church. No one can deny the reality of this matter but to face it. To those who hold on the fundamental teaching of the Bible, they find difficult to defend the teaching of the Bible on this matter. They are often criticized by friends and the congregations as being selfish and rude. Many have fallen because they could not stand to face the criticism. On the other hand, there are people who ignore the Bible teaching. They compromise the stand they have by giving the approval to divorce and remarriage.
The matter of divorce which is followed by remarriage is growing in percentages in the society and the church. No one can deny that it happens everywhere because it does not only take place in the unbelievers society in general but it is the matter of the church which no way to be avoided but faced. The question arises, what does the Bible tell us of this matter? Should the church accept the demand and influence of the world and forsake the Bible’ teaching? To answer this question it is important to study the nature of marriage given by the Lord in the Bible. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ we should yield ourselves to follow what the Bible says to us and not following the growing influence of the society. The Lord Jesus Christ has commended us to be salt and life of the world (Matthew 5:13-16). We should dare to be different for the sake of Christ.
The nature of Marriage
In Genesis 2:18-25 we find the account of marriage as the first divinely ordained institution by the Lord. The Lord was the one who created Adam and Eve and made them together in marriage. In this regard marriage is sacred for the Lord has ordained it to be followed by the generation after Adam and Eve. Whosoever has been united by the Lord in marriage no one is allowed to separate them. In fact Genesis 2:24 clearly teaches that the marriage that the Lord has ordained is only a monogamous relationship. The Lord never commanded the people to divorce or remarriage because polyandry and polygamy are not according God’s will. The perfect will of God in marriage is one man and one woman for one lifetime. These two people (one man and one woman) will be called husband and wife. They are to leave their individual homes and cleave to one another to make a new one and weave a life together.
Looking at Genesis 2:24-25 closely, we can conclude that marriage is a covenant based on love and respect that joins. The relationship of a man and woman in this regard is a holy relationship before the Lord. Husband and wife must honor and respect their marriage. Marriage is Scripturally, legally and morally binding for life and not to be put asunder by man or woman (Matt 19:6). Husband and wife should not allow any third party to be involved in the marriage. They need to follow the guidelines that the Lord has provided in the Scriptures so that they will not go wrong as they journey together in this life.
In addition, the Bible also provides the foundation of why the Lord ordained the institution of marriage. The Lord did not do something or command the people without any purpose. In this regard we shall see clearly that firstly marriage is for the purpose of loving companionship and sexual intimacy (Hebrews 13:4). Secondly, marriage is for the purpose of child rearing (Genesis 1:28). These are the absolute purpose given by the Lord. Thus let no man think that marriage is something that they can play fool with, but rather they should honor it because the Lord has ordained it.
In fact we notice clearly that the Lord Jesus has described and taken the example of the holiness of marriage to depict the relationship of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). This is to say that marriage is symbolic of the church. The love of Christ for the church should be in the same manner the husband will express his love toward his wife. He should love, care and protect her unto the end of their lives in this world. The holiness of marriage will bring great delight in relationship of husband and wife. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). By violating God’s commandments, one is committing sin.
The issue of Divorce
Having seen the nature of marriage, the Lord has ordained, then we should consider the issue of divorce that occurs in the church. In the earlier generation, the church did not face the matter of divorce because divorce was almost never encountered among the Christians. However today, this issue has become a very real problem in evangelical Christian circles. In fact infidelity does not only occurs in the midst of ordinary members of the church but also among the Christian leaders. As a result, the church does not seem shining anymore to lift up the truth in the midst of the unbelieving world.
What does the Bible say about divorce? Before divorce takes place it is important to note that divorce always stems from some sins which are really hated by God (Mal 2:16). Sometimes divorce occurs because of the hardship of life and disagreement in certain matters. Whatever reason may be, divorce is not according to the will of God. For the Christian couple, the idea of divorce should never enter their mind though how hard and difficult the matter they need to face. If the wife has done wrong in their marriage, the best solution is that the husband must forgive the wife. Even in the matter of committing adultery, if the innocent spouse can forgive the guilty spouse after showing the signs of repentance it is the best. In this regard, we need to consider the relationship of Christ with the church. We need to ask the question, how often has the church committed adultery? How often does the church not regarding God as her God in her practical living? But when the church repented the Lord forgives her and back to the right relationship with Him. Husband must apply the same thing with regard to the matter of his marriage.
However as human being, there will be a time where the matter can not be solved. As a result husband and wife will divorce. Nevertheless the Bible gives us the guidelines that divorce for Christian couple can be permitted only on the grounds of fornication (Matthews 19:9). In this regard divorce is not sinful for the innocent spouse. In addition, divorce is permitted if an unbeliever deserts a believer (1 Corinthians 7:15). Apart from these, the Bible does not support of the ideas of divorce presented by so-called modern scholars in the theological circles.
The Pharisees tempted Christ concerning the matter of divorce where Moses commanded them to give a writing of divorcement and to put he away (Matthew 19:7). The Lord Jesus gave the right answer that it was because of the hardness of their hearts Moses allowed it (Matthew 19:8). However this statement is not to justify their wrong doings but we need to understand that divorce is forgivable sin (1 John 1:9). Nevertheless those who have fallen to this category let them know that the Lord is not tolerable with sin. Galatians 6:7 said “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”
The issue of Remarriage
When a person has divorced his or her spouse, the next step such person will commonly do is to get remarriage. The world in general has such understanding. But again, we ask, what does the Bible say about remarriage? Under what conditions may Christians remarry? Based on the discussion we have in Matthew 19 between Jesus Christ and the Pharisees, we conclude that remarriage is not allowed especially a spouse who has divorced because of his or her sin of fornication. “Whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication, and shall marry another committeth adultery: and whose marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matthew 19:9). On the other hand, it is noteworthy that Jesus Christ on a different occasion did not give fornication as an excuse for divorce. “whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16:18). And again Jesus gave another statement which is applied to wives. “And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery” (Mark 10:12).
Based on the three passages above, it implies that remarriage is forbidden to a believer. However Matthew 19:9 is debatable because of the exceptive “clause” in this verse. Some have concluded that the innocent spouse is free to remarry but Luke 16:18 is against such. Remarriage is also forbidden to a believer who deserts an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:11). Then the question arises, who can remarry?
The Bible gives us the clear teaching that remarriage can only be applied to those whose husband or wife has died. As Paul said in I Corinthians 7:39 “the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” However interestingly Paul continued to say in verse 40 “But she is happier if she so abide.” Indeed this is the only condition where the Bible gives room for remarriage. Nevertheless as we have discussed in the issue of divorce, remarriage is also forgivable sin. But be reminded again, we shall reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7).
Conclusion
Looking at the nature of marriage, the Lord has ordained marriage between one man and one woman only. The marriage must be monogamous. Marriage must be honored and respected by both couple. The idea of divorce must never enter their mind at all, but rather they should obtain the forgiving spirit. How difficult the situation may be in their marriage, they should realize that the Lord is the one who has put them together.
The growing percentages of divorce in the Christians circles show the declination of the spiritual life of Christians in our generation. In order to avoid divorce in the church, Christians must build themselves in the knowledge of the Word of God and obtain the mind of Christ in our daily life. In so doing, we will fall into sin that cause of trouble in the marriage. For it is clear divorce is forbidden except for the cause of fornication. And remarriage is forbidden except the death of one spouse.
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